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MusicIsMyVoice
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Name: Amira
Gender: Female
Interests: ~Music~writing~ reading~ singing~ drawing~ hanging out with friends~ planning parties and get togeathers~ Praising the Lord!~ "Wicked"~ "Avenue Q"~ "The Music Man"~ Various other Broaway shows~ Traveling~ Scrapbooking~ Laughing~ Taking pictures~Sleeping~Talking~
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/25/2004
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| As my summer comes to a close and I start preparing for my third year of college and my 21st birthday, it has come to my realization that over the last 3 years I have somehow transitioned from being a teenager to being a responsible adult. When did this happen!?! How am I all of a sudden a confident young woman who is ready to take on a classroom full of high schoolers? I look back on myself only a short year ago and think 'there is no way I was an adult then" even tho I have technically been an adult in the eyes of the government for three years.
When do we make that transformation? How does it happen? What within me has changed so that I have suddenly become the responsible adult I had always hoped I would be?
Perhaps this transition was not quite so sudden. perhaps my experiences over the last three years have made me gain character, develop responsibility, gain confidence, and gave me the ability to take care of myself.
The real world has become less and less frightening to me. I no longer worry about "Can I do it?" but I now worry about "Will they let me do it?" ('They' being the world around me. For example, with the school board of X school give me a job?) Perhaps this waning fear of "Can" is a sign of the maturity I have gained and the confidence I have gained in myself and my abilities. I would not consider myself arrogant by any means, but i am confident in my ability to perform certain skills well (for example, I am confident in my ability to host a good birthday party at DW). And perhaps doing things well and succeeding consistently for once has engendered the growth of this confidence.
I also think that my new maturity can be contributed in large part to some major lessons in love that I have learned since fall of my freshman year of college. I know it's clische to believe that love determines so much about one's life, but for me it always has and still does determine so much about my life. As most of my friends know already, I made some very horrible decisions with regards to my behavior towards my boyfriend early in my freshman year. As a result, I was handed a broken heart on a silver plater that I had all but put there myself. I played with the hearts of men around me because I had always gotten away with it, until then. I was finally taught a lesson and brought down a peg, so to speak. I took it hard, but I took it to heart and changed my ways. I grew up from the pretty little high school blonde persona. I had to hit rock bottom first, which was not enjoyable in the least, but things went back up fairly quickly once I began to grow up and be serious about life and finding love. Real love. I was finally ready for that mature, committed relationship I had been seeking all my young life, but had been going about looking for in all the wrong ways.
And then I found it, found him. and in the end I think he has been the driving force behind my new found adulthood. Now that have found one of the things that I have wanted in life since I was a little girl - true love - I can finally grow up and stop being a little girl searching for her Prince Charming. He might not be what I have always imagined, but i know i got someone even better than my imagination could ever dream up.
::insert slight gag here if you must::
So, here I am, nearly a full fledged adult, standing on the precipice, ready and waiting to spread my wings and fly into a new world and a new life of and adult out in the vast, unwelcoming real world. And I face it all with a smile on my face and a song in my heart because I know now that " I CAN!"
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| POST!!!!
i should be in bed sleeping. but i am not. well, i am in bed, but not sleeping.
work tomorrow. my weekday job begins. blarg.
still with the same boy and still in love with him. that will in all likelihood never change. <3
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| That damn alarm scared the crap out of me. Again. I don't know what the alarm is for, but every few nights at around 2:00 am, a crazy loud double tone alarm goes off and scares the shit out of me. I know it's not the house siren from the Bloom fire station because that is way down on Market Street, a good mile and a half away. no way it would be that loud. And it's not from the ambulance station because it's coming from the wrong direction. Only other thing i can think of is the police, but it doesn't seem like it would be them either because again that is the opposite direction. Ben, any ideas?
Other than that alarm, life is going well. I got a few sweet new Wise Guys songs today. One is a spoof of "Thriller" called "Schiller". It's really funny if you understand German. Another one is called "Das Leben ist zu kurtz fur schlecte Musik" (life is to short for bad music.) too true, too true.
Basically, right now i am up to my neck in work. Unit plan due Wednesday (4 lesson plans, a topical outline and a test), Piaget testing stuff due on Tuesday. I just wrote what is basically a four page paper on 19th century Germany today. that was oddly fun. I felt all smart when i was done because it was twice as long as the last learning log i did and my points actually made sense this time!
The weekend can't come fast enough. Ben is coming up and I really miss him. I'm so pathetic. I just saw him on Sunday. I'm in love. That's my excuse. And hopefully (if i give him my puppy dog eyes) he'll take me on a Wal-mart adventure. I always kid with him that i am dating him for his car and his cat. (I'm not! really.....)
bah. I should get some sleep. Long day tomorrow.
G'night all. Until next time
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| soooooo.....
my life is rather unexciting at the moment. stressing about school, missing my boy, missing my family, being tired and having a lot of energy at the same time. story of my life at college.
On a happy note, it's been almost 7 months for Ben and me. who would have thought?! and i still love him just as much as i did the first time i said it...
and now that i have made you all vomit....heehee
that is really all i have to say.....for the whole three people who still read this. hehe.
signing off for another few months.
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| Watch This. My brother is awesome. and so it the Lorax.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gbVgXmgDP8
told you it was awesome!
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